Tag: politics

Queer Love in Trump’s America

Amanda Malamut1 Comment

Before I delve too deep into this, I want to get something off of my chest. To quote Game of Thrones (because I’m a giant nerd), when it comes to being queer, I have been a sweet child of summer. My gay awaking didn’t happen until after Obama was elected. I didn’t have to suffer or face discrimination in the high school George W. Bush years. For the most part I’ve had it fairly easy. I was coming into my queer identity as Prop 8 was passed, but Marriage Equality had become a mainstream topic. Don’t Ask Don’t Tell was repealed, hospital visitation rights were slowly being recognized. It felt like I was living in a Queer Renaissance. It wasn’t sunshine and rainbows the whole time, but it mostly felt almost mainstream to be queer in America.

And then in November, my rose color sunglasses were ripped off my face. In the back of my mind I knew that the gay utopia I was imagining was a farce, but it was still jarring having it ripped away so suddenly and violently. Since the election, so many women (shout out to Twitter) have taught me the lesson of how our existence is resistance. Existing in a world is powerful when people in power would rather see my destruction than my survival.

My fiance and I have always said ‘I love you’ to each other everyday, but after the election it’s felt different. That the words have absorbed extra power within it’s syllables. Every time I utter those three words to her it feels like I’m simultaneously shoving a middle finger in the air at everyone who dares to question and rally against our existence.  

I will rage back at them with all of my fury.

I can exist, I can love my fiance, and I can be unabashedly queer. Sometimes that means wearing my rainbow scarf, or hanging my pride pins up at my office. As a reminder that I’m here and I’m queer. Obviously there are other things to be done besides existing and loving each other. There are going to be many battles to fight. But when I’m worn out and over ridden by all of the things going wrong, I know that there is at least one thing I can do that day that makes a difference.

0

Love is a powerful tool. Saying I love you is an act of rebellion.

 

Today is Not a Bad Day

Amanda Malamut1 Comment

Since writing my last blog, I’ve been in a slump. My creativity, along with my mental and emotional health, has waned. There have been days where I felt my depression come on like a sudden wave while I’m sitting at my desk or fighting through traffic. My social media has become a constant bombardment of terrifying political appointments, people being awful, and terrible things happening in the world. Then there are the people sprinkled in that telling me that I should be caring more, how I need to avoid the sweet siren’s call for apathy and calm—that I need to keep fighting against normalization of the events of the past couple of months.

The call to stay strong and vocal is important. It’s extremely difficult for people to maintain their productivity and rage over an extended period of time, and morale boosts are necessary. A younger version of myself would heed these calls, wearing them as armor as I stormed the gates. Now, I’m just tired of emotionally draining myself over and over to fill the well back up. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still paying attention to the aftermath of the election. The genocide in Syria. These things still swirl around my mind like an unsolvable puzzle.

My depression and anxiety makes it hard enough for me not to fall into a deep sea of despair every time that I log onto my social media accounts. Even when I can donate, write, or make the calls, I feel like there is so much more I could be doing, and I’m being lazy by not spending every waking moment stressing or doing something. And when the depression kicks in, I feel even guiltier. People have so much more to lose than me; who am I to sit in my car and cry after work? How can I possibly write anything that hasn’t already been said? Or, has been said by more qualified and talented people? Does my writing actually make a difference or do anything?

With careful thought and sage advice from friends I’m reminded that there is beauty in the struggle. There are days where the weight of the world will be too much for me, and I’m extremely lucky to have a support network to help me stand up after a fall. Every day that I’m here is a victory. I might feel like I’m losing a battle, but the war still rages on, and I’m very much still in the fight. The world may seem like it’s crumbling around me, but today is not a bad day if I continue to write. To think. To breathe.

 

Self-Care is My Rebellion

Amanda Malamut4 Comments

Like many people reading this, the results of the presidential election sucked out almost all of my energy like an orange vampire. I cried. No, more aptly I sobbed off and on for the next two days after. I was devastated and frightened. My anxiety and my depression flared like I hadn’t seen in years. As someone who deals with managing depression and anxiety on a daily basis, I’m tired. So very tired of everything. Tired of being afraid for my well being, my fiance’s well being, my Jewish family’s well being. All of my queer, Muslim, and female friends. How can I stand up for all of them, how can I work to make sure they’re safe and their rights are protected? Today is one of those days where I want to throw in the towel and dive head first into a sea of depression. Giving up is a temptress, always trying to guide me off the edge in times of trouble. How do I fight against the tide, armed at ready to fight the battle that needs to be fought?

Trying to be ‘on’ all of the time isn’t new to me. Neither is getting burnt out. Working with nonprofits, it’s easy to dive in and try to give 200% all of the time. If you aren’t doing something, you feel like you’re wasting time and energy. The guilt of taking a mental day off or not working long hours can be overwhelming. I’ve seen many tweets and posts about how important self-care is in terms of being an activist. The guilt of ‘not doing enough’ 24-7 runs people down. It’s physically impossible to be on for the cause every single moment of every single day.

In my own unproductive Facebook altercation a women lamented how students were getting time off and teachers were bringing in hot cocoa. Like there is something inherently weak about taking a moment to mourn and take care of yourself. That there was something wrong with people like me who voted for Clinton needing a space to mourn, scream, rebel, and wrap themselves up in a blanket.

Sometimes the only thing we can do in a day is remind others that they are important. To post a hotline or give a friend a hug to remind them how important they are. Self care is about rebellion. It’s about survival. In order to rise up against the injustice of the world we need to take care of ourselves. Whether that means a cup of tea before calling a Congressional office or a bath after a rally, it’s vital that we take care of ourselves and each other. That’s why we’re drinking hot cocoa, organizing get-togethers to learn self defense, and to paint our nails. It’s not because we are soft. It’s to repair and upgrade our armor.

It’s okay to take a break from all of the negative noise. It’s okay to gather resources or to ask for help. Taking care of yourself isn’t arbitrary, it’s necessary.

Support / Self Care Resources:

Trans Lifeline:  (877) 565-8860

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline:  1-800-273-8255

The GLBT National Help Center: 1-888-843-4564

The Trevor Project: 1-866-488-7386 or Text “Trevor” to 1-202-304-1200

Why its Actually a Good Idea that Clay Aiken is Running for Congress

Amanda MalamutLeave a comment

I was pleasantly surprised when researching the topic of LGBT* politicians. I was not aware that all 50 states have been served by an out LGBT* member in some capacity, and 41 states have elected openly LGBT* politicians to one or both houses of their state legislature. REPRESENTATION!

But… on a Gubernatorial and  Federal level…

Only one governor has come out, and no openly LGBT* has been elected as governor or president. And there are only 8 out LGBT* members in Congress (Representatives Jared Polis, David Cicilline, Sean Patrick Maloney, Kyrsten Sinema, Mark Pocan, and Mark Takano ; Senator Tammy Baldwin). This is a record high; I’m glad that the number has increased, but with the United States having 100 Senators and 435 Representatives in the House, the LGBT* community is grossly underrepresented.

I think there are many obvious reasons for this (mainly homophobia and discrimination), but I want to talk about liability. There are many in the Democratic party who view backing an LGBT candidate as too risky, especially in swing states or in districts that lean Republican. Obviously in any election these places are risky. My guess, if someone isn’t going to vote for an openly gay candidate, they probably wouldn’t vote for a Democratic candidate anyway… especially one with “San Francisco Views“.

This past Wednesday, Clay Aiken announced his candidacy for Representative of the 2nd District of North Carolina. Regardless of how you feel about Aiken, if he wins the primary, it should lead to an interesting battle with Tea Party member Renee Ellmers. When in comes down to it, and openly gay man is running for Congress in North Carolina. That alone should help put future LGBT* politicians into the national spotlight.

Obviously the LGBT* community needs more than a white skinny guy from American Idol for representation in Congress, but he is certainly far from being the worst candidate that could be elected. (And he actually has a decent platform – mostly liberal with a touch of North Carolina politics).

As I have said many times in the past – visibility is the key to the LGBT* movement; true and diverse representation on the national and global stage is crucial.

SO LGBT* community – run for office! Be politically active! Be socially conscious!

We are NOT a liability. We should not be considered a political risk.

And shit… if Clay Aiken can run for Congress, maybe someday I can too.