Tag: lgbt

How To: Deal With Naysayers

Amanda MalamutLeave a comment

There are always going to be people who don’t ‘get’ what your organization does. There are always people who don’t understand why you work with a certain population or in a specific geographic area. Most annoyingly, there are people who don’t think what your non-profit does is worth while and make sure you know it. Instead of offering constructive criticism or trying to help, these people will only offer up criticism.The best thing to do when faced with a naysayer is to be polite, be open and flexible, and keep doing what you’re doing.

Be Polite

Naysayers are usually frustrating and provocative. For example, I’ve been told that the children I was working with couldn’t be poor because they were smiling in the pictures. As much as you want to reply with snappy comebacks, it really doesn’t get you anywhere. Staying level-headed might not change their minds, but you will keep your professional reputation intact. Putting someone in their place isn’t worth losing the respect other possible volunteers, donors, or constituents.

 

Be Open and Flexible

Even if the naysayer seems annoying, they may have a point. No program or organization is perfect and should be open to improvement. Ask what suggestions they would have for your non-profit. If it’s something that you can improve upon, try to see how you can implement the changes. If it’s something you can’t or don’t want to change right now, still be polite when opinions are given.

 

Keep Doing What You’re Doing

The best way to silence your critics is to have positive outcomes. If your organization keeps expanding while maintaining quality and positive impact, critics will lose their power to criticize your non-profit. Keep doing your best, and your programs, volunteers, and donors will speak volumes about what you are doing correctly.

 

Take a deep breath, and good luck!

Dealing With Reverse Culture Shock and Burnout

Amanda Malamut4 Comments

After studying abroad, and really after I come back from an international trip, I suffer terrible reverse culture shock which usually results in a mental burnout. Before medication and therapy, these burnouts could last weeks or even months. It was so bad that I burst into tears landing at JFK airport because I saw a golf course. No one back in the United States really seemed to get how I felt, and telling stories about my international adventures only made me feel worse.

I may be wrong, but I feel like people who suffer from good old regular culture shock when traveling to a country have it easier. You either stick it out in the new country, or you go home. Reverse cultural shock likes to creep out unexpectedly and at the worst moments. Like almost having a panic attack in the middle of a Bath and Body Works while Christmas shopping at a mall. Whenever I travel internationally, even if it’s for a short period of time, reverse culture shock sets in as soon as I land back in the United States. Places abroad feel so much like home, more than other living situations I was in, and I didn’t want to leave that feeling. I didn’t want to leave that sense of community and simplicity. My responsibilities abroad were going to school or volunteering, which made life back in the United States seem ten times more complicated than it probably was. After returning from study abroad, the reverse culture shock was so severe that I stayed in varying degrees of depression over a 5 year period. My depression is biochemical, and that feeling of loss was something that I couldn’t truly overcome on my own.

I thought that with the medication and therapy the feeling would be non-existent or at least dissipate faster. However, the feeling stays just as long and just as strong. The only difference now is that it doesn’t complete destroy my mental state for a month after returning. Which I suppose is a pretty big difference. Not completely burning out helps me move forward and allows me to get the work done that I need to. I just wish that there was some magic spell or drug that would allow me to travel from country to country without feeling so disoriented when I return. In the meantime I have a great girlfriend, friends, family, and therapy that remind me what home feels like in the United States.

“But You Don’t Look Gay…”

Amanda Malamut3 Comments

When I was abroad and socializing with the oil workers I mentioned the last week, there were several times when these middle-aged men would try to create drama within my study abroad group (composed of 20-somethings).  One of these incidents was one of them insisting to me that another person in my group was gay, and you could tell by “just looking at them”.

I’m not going to touch on the idea of creating drama over sexual orientation (that’s a whole other blog post). Even after I started to come out to myself, no one on that trip could tell I was gay. Everyone that I came out to at home was surprised. It felt like my homosexuality was pouring out of every part of me, but my ‘straight acting’ of the past was just too good.  I had pretended to have crushes on male celebrities and tried to convince myself that I was in love with several of my male friends. It never felt real to me, but I guess I was fairly convincing. The markers that seemed so obvious to that oil worker were wrong, but all of the markers I had weren’t ‘gay enough’.

Can you always tell that people are gay by just looking at them? At the beginning of the trip when this occurred, I wasn’t even out to myself yet, but no one was picking up on what in hindsight was pretty obvious gay vibes. Even after being out for 6 years, I still get surprised reactions; they couldn’t ‘see’ my gayness. Before I cut my hair short, I would go  to Pride parades and events with my male gay friends and automatically be pegged as the ally or hag tagging along.  Now, there are times when I look at myself and think I look ‘gayer’ than other times, but those visual markers don’t necessarily give me away. My hair could be in a faux hawk, and I could be wearing skinny jeans and a plaid shirt and people have still be surprised when I refer to my girlfriend.

Is there a mysterious gay vibe that I’m not emitting? Being a lesbian is a crucial part of my identity, and honestly it frustrates me that people don’t see it when I think I am making it obvious. Is it that it’s so obvious to me, but surprising for everyone who assumes heterosexuality until proven other wise? Is that what has kept me safe when I have been traveling with my non-profit? I feel gay all of the time, but I guess since straightness is assumed ( I usually dress in the middle of the butch/femme spectrum) I get lumped in with all the other heterosexuals. I don’t mind that when I’m traveling with my organization if it protects me, but I get frustrated that people can pick up on gay vibes from other people and not me.  What separates me from all of the other women you can ‘just tell’ are lesbians?

Even though I’m grateful that assumed straightness protects me from homophobia abroad, it’s a double edged sword. Having people know that I’m a lesbian is crucial to my identity. I feel like less of myself while under this protection, and I feel like I’m lying to everyone involved.

I want to be my gay self all of the time; I just have to wait until being my true self wouldn’t get myself or my organization hurt.

I won’t hold my breath, but I remain hopeful.

 

Yelling at a Wall and Tolerating the Ugly

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One of the things that I learned when I first studied abroad is the need to look at the grey areas of life. Oil production is abundant in that country, and my 20-year-old self had many preconceived ideas about everyone involved with oil companies. Are there many business and environmental policies that I don’t agree with? Of course. Are there people who are just trying to take care of their family, and do their best? Very much so. My time there taught me that the corporation and the people within the corporation are two very separate entities, and should not be judged with the same criteria.

With it being such an oil rich nation, unfortunately prostitution is one the leading occupations for women there. Those women were some of the kindest and friendliest people I have ever I met. It’s the men who worked within the oil companies (ranging from drillers to executives) who would tell you about their wife and kids as they were picking up a prostitute and who would them horribly. The men who get excessively drunk, knowing that they were going to drive us home.

I’m not a fan of beating myself up over the past. My 20-year-old self was very angry at those situations, but my 20-year-old self also felt very powerless to change anything. I bit my lip and got in the cars. I wish the situation was different. I wish that at 20 I felt the confidence to speak out, even though it might have changed anything. If I berated oil workers about their cheating and the diseases they were bringing home to their wives, what would have that accomplished?

It’s taken awhile, but I finally forgave my past self for not yelling at every disgusting man who I encountered abroad. I was not outspoken six years ago. I was a shy, anxiety ridden college student who was finally coming to terms with her sexuality. I was in no place to do and say the things I wanted to. That I probably should have.

I didn’t stand up for those women, the students in my group, or myself.

Now, through my study abroad experiences and now my non-profit, I can see what may seem like a drop in the bucket make all of the difference in the world. Or it may not. But I need to try, because I have no idea what ripple effect my actions may cause one, five, or ten years down the road.My silence taught me not to yell at walls, and to not tolerate ugly behavior; to speak out when I have the opportunity to. As a result of my past lack of strength and confidence, I now have learned to use my voice as a force for good whenever possible.

I still look for the grey areas of situations, but with the understanding that there are some things that I refuse to compromise on. 

Through my lack of strength and confidence, I have learned to use my voice as a force for good whenever possible.

How To: Interview for a Non-Profit Organization

Amanda MalamutLeave a comment

Interviewing can be a scary process, especially in the non-profit sector. There is a wide variety of missions, dress codes, and work ethics to appeal to, and it’s hard to figure out how to appeal to a specific non-profit. While no two organizations are the same, there are some things you can do to prepare for an interview.

1. Know the mission. Connect with the mission.

Non-profits want to see that you get them. Interviewers what you to be able to explain to why you are excited about and love their mission. Make sure you share if you have any previous experience that can relate to the organization’s vision.

2. Ask interesting questions.

Research outside influences on the organization and find questions to ask that will show your understanding of the position and the non-profit is more than surface deep. (e.g. What are the short-term and long-term development goals? How will the recent funding cuts affect your budget?)

3. Dress professional.

There is a wide variety of dress codes among nonprofit organizations, but it is always better to dress professionally. The person interviewing you might be wearing a t-shirt and jeans, but you want to look like you are taking the position and the organization seriously.

4. Sell your passion and yourself.

You might be the most qualified person for the job, but if you don’t show passion for the position you might not get the job. Interviewers want to see that you believe in everything the organization is about. Show off how your skills and experiences make you the best person for the job, and how you will encompass their mission and vision throughout your work.

Get your resumes ready, and good luck!

 

Finishing Chapters

Amanda Malamut2 Comments

Tardis Journal

From an early age I was terrible at finishing travel journals. From my first international trip to my last trip abroad I have always have been required, or have wanted to document my experiences through journal writing.

Unfortunately, none of these journals have ever been completed. Whether it’s the last month or couple of days before the trip ends, the pages stay blank.

I love new and exciting experiences, but I’ve always have hated the feeling after, the withdrawal. It’s more than just reverse culture shock, it’s the feeling that if I complete the journal, then the experience is complete, and I can never feel that same way again.

In the past, happiness has been an extremely difficult and complex emotion for me. The higher the high, the bigger the crash into a downward spiral. Not finishing those journals was a way of clinging onto the happiness I had found. I could pretend that nothing had changed, and I was still in the moment of happiness.

Through lots of self exploration and therapy, I’ve accepted that holding on to a moment doesn’t preserve your happiness, moving forward does. Change is happening all of the time, and grasping on to the past does nothing to prevent it, and makes me more miserable.

Different circumstances in the present and future don’t negate the happiness of the past. The fact that my brother and sister are moving across the country doesn’t change who we are to each other. The fact that disease is most likely going to prevent our annual trip doesn’t change my passion for my organization.

Sometimes I wish that world would stand still, but then I remember that its constant revolution and rotation has given me amazing opportunities and changes that I didn’t even know I needed.

I will probably be never good at finishing journals. There will probably always be that piece of me that wants to believe it’s not over and nothing is changed. But I now know that that my happiness lies in acknowledging the past, but moving forward towards the next big adventure.

How To: Write a Non-Profit Job Description

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Job descriptions are your primary tool for letting external job candidates know what you as an organization are looking for; you want to make sure that the descriptions of what you are asking for are clear, precise, and realistic. For a great job description you will need:

1. An overview of your organization’s mission and goals

A potential hire wants to know if their passion and ideology match up with your non-profit’s.

2. A realistic job title

3. The position’s reporting relationship(s) and key responsibilities

Many sources state that 3-5 key responsibilities will give the job candidate a clear picture of what they would be doing, without going into excessive detail.

4. A list of qualifications

Divide the qualifications into “must haves” and “nice to have”. What is absolutely essential, and what would be an added bonus?

5. Benefits and salary

Within your budget limitations, what is the best offer you can make to a candidate?

Check out the Bridespan Group for great examples of job descriptions for various non-profit job descriptions. Good luck!

 

Unnecessary Competition

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Every once in a while there is someone in the humanitarian sector who needs to puff our their feathers and claim that their organization and / or their methods are superior to everyone else’s, making them the best in their field. I experienced that behavior mostly in undergrad, but lately I have been experiencing this pissing contest indirectly and directly online and at various conferences.

My organization operates in 5 countries. Mine doesn’t require funding from corporations. Here are metrics that prove my work is more important than yours.

It’s one thing to be proud of our non-profits; I’m extremely proud of what my organization has accomplished. The trouble comes when we try to diminish other’s work as wrong or insignificant. In some countries it’s easy and an advantage to work with corporations and the government; in others, not so much. Water infrastructure does not negate education or health development or vice versa. There is no cause that trumps all of the others, and your organization isn’t better because of it.

Every organization is created, formed, and evolved from an infinite amount of historical, sociopolitical, and economical scenarios. Education programs that work in a small village in Ecuador might have no positive impact in a country-wide program in Pakistan. The way we operate in one the countries my non-profit works in is extremely unique, and I would not recommend functioning that way in other places. Do I wish that it could be different? Of course, but wishing doesn’t turn anything into an ideal situation. Yes we are taught and shown the ‘best practices’ of a specific sector, but a lot of the times those practices need to be adapted or completely thrown out the window in order to be successful.

It doesn’t make the work my non-profit any less valid, and having the ability to adhere to different tactics doesn’t make your work any more valid.

Can’t we all just get along, share our ideas, and be open to being wrong or adapting our programs?

Remember, we are all working towards making the world a better place, we can’t do that by stomping on each other.

How To: Find Board Members

Amanda Malamut1 Comment

To become a non-profit, the IRS requires that your organization has some form of governing body. Most of the time, that governing body is a board of directors. The “Ten Basic Responsibilities of Nonprofit Boards” listed by BoardSource are:

  • Determine the organization’s mission and purposes
  • Select the executive staff through an appropriate process
  • Provide ongoing support and guidance for the executive; review his/her performance
  • Ensure effective organizational planning
  • Ensure adequate resources
  • Manage resources effectively (the buck stops with them, ultimately)
  • Determine and monitor the organization’s programs and services
  • Enhance the organization’s public image
  • Serve as a court of appeal for unresolved issues or complaints
  • Assess its own performance

The most important thing to remember when creating a board or looking for new members is to utilize your network. The three main categories of networks are people you know (1st circle), your first circle’s network (2nd circle), and people you don’t know who are passionate about similar causes (3rd circle).

1st Circle

  • Dedicated volunteers – Communicate the fact that you’re recruiting board members through your newsletter, word of mouth, emails and social media
  • Donors
  • Friends and Family
  • Organizational partners

2nd Circle

  • If you already have a board, ask your current board and staff for nominations or recommendations
  • Ask members in your 1st degree circle if they are aware of anyone who would be interested
  • Reach out to those beyond your nonprofit, like youth, or people in business or from other organizations
  • Make sure that communications going out to the first circle are easily shared with people outside of your direct network.

3rd Circle

  • Contact new organizations and volunteer centers that teach people how to be effective board members and then match them with nonprofits who need them
  • Use board or volunteer recruitment web sites like BoardNetUSA, BoardSource, and VolunteerMatch.

Happy searching, and good luck!

It’s Out of My Hands

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In the past week my organization has been dealt a blow. We usually travel to X in the Fall, but there has been a serious outbreak of disease in the area. Usually organizations like the WHO or Doctors Without Borders have a timeline for containment, but in this case, no timeline exists. The disease is extremely contagious, even when symptoms aren’t showing, and can be caught through bodily fluids, including sweat. There is no cure, and also tends to have a 50-60% death rate.

Unless it gets under control, it looks like it we would be unable to go. I know I have no control over the situation. There is nothing within my power that will improve the situation.

I feel helpless and frustrated.

Having to sit and wait and watch is making my skin itch; knowing that there is nothing I can do makes me physically ache. A part of me wants to say screw the consequences and go any way.

But what good am I if I get sick? Or if I die? Death isn’t a 100% guarantee, but it’s a high enough risk to not logically risk my life to ease my impulsive desires.

Valuing my life over my organization is actually a relatively new concept for me. I know that my life and my health trump going into dangerous areas, but there is still a tiny piece of me that hasn’t been convinced. What if I completely cover myself 24/7?  What if I don’t touch anyone? Isn’t it worth the risk?

Logically it’s a resounding no, but my emotions and feelings twist it into a lukewarm maybe. I don’t want to die a martyr. I don’t want to die period. But the idea of not going feels like a huge cop-out, even if the risks extremely outweigh the benefits of going.

I wish I could regale you with some grand revelation about self-worth vs. sacrifice, but the truth is I think I’ll always have a small part of me that would throw caution to the wind despite my best interests. I’m lucky that I’m surrounded by people who can knock sense into me and remind me that I know that certain risks don’t benefit me or my non-profit.

And who knows, maybe the situation will be contained, and it’ll be safe to go.